Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 1275 - How Tech Can Make Our Lives Better (Yes, Really!)

  We usually talk about tech as a problem — screens, addiction, distraction — but what if it could actually make family life better? In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson chats with two innovative parents, Matt and Brianna Donaldson, about how they're using smart technology to support routines, reduce stress, and create more quality time together. From bedtime battles to TV tantrums, discover how smart lights, switches, and routines can bring more peace and predictability to your home — no tech degree required! KEY POINTS: Around 80% of Millennial and Gen Z parents are now using smart home tech to manage home life. Smart devices (like lights, switches, and TVs) can automate routines to reduce friction — especially around bedtime. Tech can enhance a child’s autonomy and transitions (e.g. lights dimming, music playing) without constant parental prompting. Boundaries and structure are still essential — even in tech-forward homes. It’s not about more tech, but intentional tech that supports family connection and calm. You don’t have to spend thousands: starting with a $20 smart switch can begin transforming routines. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: “It’s not Mum or Dad turning off the TV — it’s the house. The structure is doing the heavy lifting.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: Samsung SmartThings App Smart Switches (available from retailers like JB Hi-Fi or Kmart) Bluey and the Tony Box (a screen-free audio player for kids) The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start small. Try one smart light or switch in a high-impact area like the bedroom. Automate transitions. Use tech cues (e.g. dim lights + calming music) to support routines like bedtime. Keep boundaries clear. Set firm, predictable limits around tech use — especially screens. Use tech to reclaim time. Automate cleaning (like smart vacuums) or other routines to free up family time. Let the “house be the boss.” Reduce conflict by letting routines and automation do the talking. Prioritise presence. Tech should serve family life, not steal from it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1274 - What Should You Do If You Think Your Child Has ADHD?

  Is it ADHD… or something else entirely? This episode dives into one of the most debated topics in parenting and child psychology. Dr Justin Coulson answers a heartfelt question from a concerned parent: Should I pursue a formal ADHD diagnosis for my child — or are there better first steps to take? If you're feeling overwhelmed by symptoms, advice, and conflicting opinions, this conversation will help you slow down, zoom out, and see your child through a compassionate, research-informed lens. KEY POINTS: ADHD diagnosis rates are rising — but is it always the right label? Some children may be diagnosed for what is actually normal developmental variation or environmental mismatch. ADHD-like symptoms may be a child’s way of trying to meet three unmet psychological needs: Connection (relatedness) Capability (competence) Control (autonomy) Neuroinflammation is an emerging and overlooked factor in ADHD symptoms. Developmental readiness matters — an 8-year-old’s brain is still undergoing major executive function development. Rather than trying to eliminate stress, parents can help children build capacity to handle challenge (a growth mindset). Medication might help some, but it’s not the first (or only) answer. Diagnosis should be thoughtful, multi-faceted, and whole-child focused. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Difference doesn't mean disorder. Development is not a race." – Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson Happy Families – for more articles, podcast episodes, and parenting resources Self-Determination Theory & Growth Mindset research Parenting ADHD [The Course] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Delay formal diagnosis (unless impairment is severe) and give time for development. Audit the environment for connection, competence, and autonomy — is it need-thwarting or need-supportive? Support physical health: Prioritise sleep, unprocessed foods, and movement. Explore reducing neuroinflammation through lifestyle. Teach a growth mindset: Use the word “yet”, encourage effort, and model learning through challenges. Reframe behaviours: Daydreaming may signal creativity, not dysfunction. Risk-taking may show courage and capability-seeking. Task resistance may be about autonomy, not defiance. If pursuing assessment, choose a clinician who understands development, context, and the whole child — not just a checklist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1273 - Do We Give In? What to Do When the Kids Push Too Hard

  When the kids are relentless, defiant, or just downright exhausting, do you give in? Do you clamp down? Or is there a better way? In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the three most common parenting responses to challenging behaviour — and make the case for a third, more effective path. You'll laugh, reflect, and come away with a powerful tool to help you parent with confidence, clarity, and calm. KEY POINTS: The 3 common parenting responses to tough behaviour: Giving In (Permissiveness) – short-term peace, long-term chaos. The “Hell No” (Authoritarian) – may bring instant compliance but can damage connection and growth. Working With (Collaborative Discipline) – more effort upfront, but creates better long-term outcomes. Why permissiveness backfires: it invites boundary-testing and weakens trust and safety. How harsh, top-down discipline can rupture relationships and discourage self-regulation. Introducing the 3 E’s of Effective Discipline: Explore your child’s perspective. Explain your concerns. Empower your child to problem-solve with you. Real-life example: how Justin and Kylie worked with their daughter around a tricky social situation. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Fast is slow and slow is fast. When you take the time to work with your kids, you build trust, wisdom, and lasting outcomes.” — Dr Justin Coulson RESOURCES MENTIONED: 📖 The Parenting Revolution – by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Pause before you react. Ask: am I about to give in, come down hard, or work with? Use the 3 E’s next time your child makes a tough request or shows challenging behaviour. Revisit tricky issues over time — not every decision has to be made in the moment. Stay unified with your co-parent if possible — consistency and teamwork matter. Remember: boundaries show love. They help kids feel secure, even when they push against them.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1272 - Is The Mum I Hoped to Be Turning Up? With Victoria Vanstone

  She thought parenting would be homemade cookies, flouncy dresses, and humming while folding laundry… but instead, she’s throwing plastic cups at walls. In this hilarious, vulnerable, and unexpectedly heartwarming episode, Justin speaks with Victoria Vanstone—author, podcast host, and recovering party girl—about what happens when the perfect mum you imagined never actually shows up. From shouting matches and laptop guilt to near-death experiences and camping hacks, this conversation explores the wild reality of parenting and why just turning up—imperfectly—is more than enough. KEY POINTS Victoria’s journey from party girl to mum (and how giving up drinking gave her back her life) The power of writing to reflect on and process parenting Why self-awareness trumps perfection every time Near-death moments and learning to live with risk as a parent The guilt of being too attached to work—and what she did to fix it Why camping within 5 km of home (and sneaking home to sleep) might be the ultimate parenting hack What it really means to “mum” with heart, humour, and honesty QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Having children means creating risk. Love means risking loss. And that’s parenting in a nutshell—heartwarming and heartbreaking, all in the same breath." — Victoria Vanstone RESOURCES MENTIONED Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent by Victoria Vanstone A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone Sober Awkward podcast What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Embrace imperfection. Stop waiting for the “ideal” parent to show up—just keep showing up, messy and real. Reflect and write. Whether you blog, journal, or just jot notes, self-awareness begins with reflection. Seek help when needed. Whether it’s therapy, support groups, or just a trusted friend—reach out. Put down the laptop. Create tech-free time zones at home where your child has your full attention. Find your own hacks. Whether it’s camping close to home or hiring help, do what works for your family—without guilt.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1271 - The Power of Teaching Kids About Emotions

  I'll Do Better Tomorrow: The Power of Teaching Kids About EmotionsKids don’t magically learn emotional regulation—they need to be taught. In this special Friday episode of I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, Justin and Kylie reflect on a big week: a powerful email from the past, and a meaningful family conversation about emotions. They share how their weekly “teaching tradition” helps their kids understand, express, and manage big feelings—with practical ideas any parent can try at home. KEY POINTS Weekly family tradition:The Coulsons have moved from monthly “tricky topic” chats to weekly conversations—because consistency matters more than perfection. Understanding emotions visually:Emotions were mapped across two axes—energy (high/low) and pleasantness (pleasant/unpleasant)—to help kids name and normalise feelings. Teaching emotional regulation:Emotions aren’t who we are; they’re what we feel. Kids were taught to “move through” emotions rather than get stuck in them. Adaptive vs maladaptive coping:Adaptive strategies included movement, music, cold water, connection, and even cleaning. Maladaptive strategies included isolation, outbursts, or ruminating alone. Explicit teaching works:Kids responded well to a clear, hands-on conversation. And yes—one child acted it all out in real time. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Emotions are not who we are—they're something we move through.” RESOURCES MENTIONED The Parenting Revolution – Book by Dr Justin Coulson happyfamilies.com.au – resources for family connection Consent education: Consent Can't Wait campaign ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Start a Weekly Chat TraditionChoose a consistent time (e.g. Sunday evenings) to talk about a value, life skill, or tricky topic as a family. Teach Emotions in Two DimensionsUse energy (high/low) and pleasantness (pleasant/unpleasant) to help kids map their feelings more clearly. Help Kids Reframe Their LanguageInstead of “I am angry,” encourage “I have anger.” It promotes healthier emotional distance. Create an Adaptive Coping List TogetherBrainstorm ways to manage big feelings that work for your family: music, exercise, pets, hugs, laughter. Be Consistent, Not Perfect It’s not about grand lessons—it’s about regular, intentional connection that grows with your children. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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